


One Sweet Moment

by mogwai_do



Series: Making the Most of It [2]
Category: Highlander: The Series
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Het, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2013-01-06
Packaged: 2017-11-23 22:34:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/627255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mogwai_do/pseuds/mogwai_do
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes no amount of experience can prepare you for loss, but sometimes solace finds you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	One Sweet Moment

Alexa hung up the phone and went looking for Adam. She had been on the telephone for the last hour or so, calling her housemates as she had promised and calling Joe just to let him know how they were doing. As usual for this weekly ritual, Adam had given her some privacy - probably a wise choice given the questions her housemates often asked. Alexa blushed a little at the memory of this evening's quest for details. Her duty to her friends concluded though, she wanted to tell Adam the latest news from home. She quickly descended the stairs and headed for the sitting room, knowing that Adam normally used the time to write in his journal. She pushed open the door and paused in surprise.

The sitting room was dark, the twilight sky outside casting pools of shadow and light seemingly at random. Music was quietly playing on the stereo, a soft, sad orchestral piece that she didn't immediately recognise, but sounded familiar. The fire in the hearth had died to a few weak embers whose feeble glow created no real warmth. It was absolutely still within; no sound beyond the music, no movement beyond the waving silhouettes of the trees outside.

Alexa glanced behind her into the rest of the house, brightly lit and cheerful, emanating a warmth that seemed somehow forbidden to cross the threshold into this one room. For a moment she almost thought Adam must be elsewhere, but silver light on pale skin betrayed him.

Adam sat on the couch, his head tilted back to stare at the ceiling, angular features and the pale length of his exposed throat daubed in silver light. At first she thought he had fallen asleep, but the glitter of light reflecting in open eyes denied that possibility. Alexa felt a brief confusion; Adam's persistent cheerfulness did not lend itself easily to the image of him sitting alone in a dark room, it worried her.

"Adam?" she called softly and saw his reaction in the liquid glimmer of his eyes and the rapid swallowing of that long throat.

"Yeah," the hoarseness of his voice wasn't her imagination.

The whirr and click of the CD player intruded on her thoughts as it began the opening bars of the track once more. When the first words sounded through the speakers Alexa recognised it and her thoughts deserted her.

_There's no time for us_  
There's no place for us  
What is this thing which builds our dreams, yet slips away from us 

Alexa wanted to cry. She had quite similar taste in music to Adam, it was one of the things she liked about him. She had this CD herself, but she hadn't played it since she'd discovered she was ill, and it had been just a too-sad song then. Now. Now it was all too personal and Adam's unusual behaviour was suddenly perfectly comprehensible. Alexa slipped into the room without turning the light on and settled carefully onto the edge of the couch next to him.

Methos didn't look at Alexa when he felt her sit by his side. He hadn't meant for her to see this - he hadn't meant for this to even happen, but it had. It had been such a lovely evening too; Alexa had been cheerfully chatting away to her friends - he tried not to listen too closely to those conversations, there were some things he just didn't want to know - and he had come downstairs to update his journal. He'd just turned the CD player on and let it play whatever he'd left in there since the last time he'd been here, and that had been fine... until it got to this track. He'd forgotten it had been on there, and writing in his journal he hadn't registered the music changing until it was too late.

_Who wants to live forever  
Who wants to live forever_

The soft strains had ambushed him, snuck up on him and pervaded his thoughts, seeped into his soul and left him defenceless in the face of his own emotions. The realities of loving Alexa had never seemed more real than at that moment, all the pain he had invited with this relationship came crashing home, pain that he knew he could have avoided so easily. Loving mortals always hurt sooner or later, yet he knew just as certainly that it was one pain he would never avoid. He had marvelled at the things he did to himself in the name of love and swore not to let it happen again, knowing all the time that it was as much a lie now as it had been every other time he'd sworn the same.

Five thousand years, 56 wives, 12 husbands and so many other men and women who had filled the role in a less formal capacity. For an eternity of minutes he could see the faces, hear the voices, of every single one of them and feel with the immediacy of love that every single one was lost to him forever. Already he knew he would be adding Alexa to the list before the year was out and even with her sitting so warm and alive beside him, he struggled not to mourn her loss too soon. But it was hard. So hard. And tonight, with that song calling up 5,000 years of love lost, it was beyond him.

_There's no chance for us_  
It's all decided for us  
This world has only one sweet moment set aside for us 

"Sorry," he said, wincing inwardly as he heard the broken sound of his own voice, "you don't need to see this."

Alexa's eyes when she looked at him held such a look of compassion, it threatened to undermine his already fractured composure.

"Adam," her voice was as soft as his. "It's okay - really."

Methos chuckled, "Self-pity isn't a very attractive trait, shame really - I almost had you convinced I was perfect."

_Who wants to live forever  
Who wants to live forever_

Alexa heard the undercurrent of bitterness in the words despite the light tone and ached with the realisation that up until now she had only taken - Adam's support, his time, his love. She had never thought of what it must cost him to give them. Determined to at least begin to repay the debt, she resolved to be there for him for as long as she could. She studied him carefully, the way he still hadn't looked at her, the tension in the slender body even as it sagged against the cushions of the couch. She reached out and took Adam's hand from where it lay on the cushion and held it in her lap, tucked between her own small hands. She squeezed gently and tried to will some of her warmth into the cool flesh, wordlessly telling him what words would always fail to convey - that it was alright, she understood, she loved him.

_Who dares to love forever  
When love must die_

The song was filling the air now and Methos breathed it in, willing the future pain to submit to the present happiness. Alexa was stroking his hand, massaging some warmth into it, offering him comfort if he wanted it - and oh, how he did. But the barriers he had created so very many years ago had been crafted by an expert and improved upon by time. He couldn't unlock them himself and she didn't possess the key - wouldn't, unless he gave it to her and that was almost as unthinkable as living without her. Trapped behind a wall of his own making, Methos let the tears fall in the privacy of his own heart.

Alexa watched Adam as he struggled with himself and silently sent him all the support she could. She wanted him to be able to find the same comfort with her as she had found with him, but knew she could only give him that if he let her, as he had convinced her to do. But Adam remained uncharacteristically silent and withdrawn. The song intruded again on her consciousness and this time Alexa listened. 

_But touch my tears with your lips_  
Touch my world with your fingertips  
And we can have forever  
And we can love forever  
Forever is our today 

Perhaps a more direct form of comfort would help to break Adam's self-imposed restraint. Slowly Alexa raised Adam's captive hand to her lips and softly kissed his fingertips and then the palm of his hand. When he slowly raised his head to look at her she smiled, hoping it would have the same effect on him as his smile always had on her. For a moment she was caught in his eyes, Adam looked so young and so lost, in too much pain for so youthful a spirit, like a child who couldn't understand why it hurt when there was no wound. Then she was tugging on his hand as she slid off her seat to kneel on the rug in front of the fire. He didn't resist when she pulled him down to kneel facing her.

With infinite care Alexa began to slowly undo the buttons of his shirt, lightly kissing each piece of newly exposed skin. She was halfway down when she felt Adam's hands begin to tug her sweater free of her skirt and she looked up to meet his eyes, smiling encouragingly. Alexa led, undressing him slowly and carefully, almost reverently, while he did the same for her.

Before long they were both naked and Alexa drew back to view her handiwork. In the shadows and moonlight Adam looked to be carved from pale marble, except that no statue had ever managed the faint flush of arousal she found so captivating in her pale lover. Adam's eyes were dark with the strangest mixture of arousal and sorrow, but somehow it only made him more beautiful. It reminded her of myths she'd read as a teenager, of gods descending to earth to seduce mortal women. Adam seemed almost a stranger to her then - a fantastic creature pulled from painting or poem, bewitchingly beautiful and not quite real.

Of their own volition her hands rose to gently brush along the high cheekbones. "God, you're so beautiful," she whispered in awe. She traced his lips with her fingertips and smiled gently, "What do you see in me?"

Adam reached out almost hesitantly to mirror her touches. "Everything," he whispered, his voice rough and soft at once - like velvet brushed the wrong way. "I see everything in you."

Alexa exulted as his lips closed over hers and her mouth was patiently and determinedly plundered. Adam's movements were slow and gentle as he lowered her to the rug, but Alexa could feel a terrible restraint in him as his body covered hers - a leashed violence kept so carefully under control as she gave herself up to Adam's painstaking adoration.

*****

Adam poured his heart into their lovemaking, worshipping Alexa with every talent he possessed. He gave her everything she could want except himself and even through the waves of pleasure Alexa could feel his restraint and it broke her heart.

When the last wave of ecstasy subsided Alexa reached for him, halting his devotions. Taking his face in her hands she drew him up until she could look into those wonderfully expressive eyes. "Adam," her voice was breathless, but serious.

"Adam..." Alexa tried to reach past the shutters behind his eyes, "I want you." She kissed him quickly, "All of you." She nibbled at his lower lip, "Please."

She slid one hand behind his head brushing her fingers through the short strands of hair as she made him meet her eyes, "I love you - it goes both ways remember?" Alexa watched the light of realisation dawn in the desolation of Adam's eyes and silently prayed it would be enough to make him let go. By way of encouragement, Alexa raked one hand down his chest, not quite hard enough to draw blood, and relished the gasp it brought. Then she wrapped her hand around his erection, stroking over its hot length only once.

With a stifled groan Adam let his head fall forward and he buried his face against her throat, fighting his body's betrayal and losing. One hand stroked soothingly through the baby-soft spikes of his hair, while her other hand simply stayed curled around his cock feeling the way it pulsed under her touch. Alexa brushed her lips against his temple, "Whatever you want, Adam," she whispered, feeling him tense against her, "whatever you need."

Alexa was surprised when Adam jerked up to search her face. "You. Just you," Adam replied softly, the pain of letting go no longer so terrible as the pain of holding back and he began thrusting gently into her hand. Alexa let her eyes slip closed in pleasure as Adam began a fresh assault on her willing flesh so she didn't see the moment when he surrendered his control, but she felt it.

Adam was no less considerate than he had always been, but there was a kind of desperate passion now that spoke of raw feelings. Alexa gloried in the not-so-gentle caresses and the almost too-hard bites and responded in kind. When Adam moved to enter her Alexa felt a sudden desperate hunger for that joining, wanting urgently to give him this, she wrapped her legs around his hips and pulled him in hard. The cry that escaped him then was almost enough in itself to make her come and he dropped forward to plunder her mouth, savagely ripping away her breath and her voice, but that was okay, she would have given them to him anyway.

Alexa felt every thrust of his hips all the way through her as he drove them ruthlessly towards oblivion. She was gasping for breath and crying his name over and over again as she felt herself near the peak, wanting to drag him over with her. Some fleetingly coherent part of her brain was briefly thankful they had no neighbours as she demanded more and got it. So close... she was so close... Then it stopped and she cried out as ecstasy was denied her. "Adam," she growled and her reply was a swift kiss of apology, the very gentleness of which was enough to bring her some measure of clarity beyond frustrated desire.

Adam was looking at her so seriously and there was something else in his eyes, deeper than desire. He began to move again thrusting gently, enough to keep that sweet pressure building, but not enough to bring release. The kiss he lavished on her then was so sweet she forgave him everything even when he reluctantly pulled away.

"Methos," Adam's voice was deep with arousal, but clear. He swooped in for another kiss when Alexa would have spoken. "Say it. Please," it was somewhere between a demand and a plea, but it didn't matter which, she could never have denied the look in his eyes anyway.

Confused Alexa struggled breathlessly with the unfamiliar word, "Methos." And she watched in wonder as the barriers behind his eyes came down all at once with a low cry that shivered down her spine. Adam looked so open and vulnerable that Alexa wondered what had been hidden.

The kiss that was her reward was as deep and arousing as the others had been gentle. She bit lightly on his tongue when Adam would have pulled back, and whispered against his lips, "Methos." His response was almost convulsive this time as he began to move harder and faster, resuming the pace he had abandoned earlier, while he dropped haphazard kisses over her face and throat.

Alexa arched into each thrust, feeling the inevitable peak near, and knew Adam could be no better off. Silently she urged him on with her body until she knew she could not hold on any longer, but she wanted so badly to bring Adam with her. As she tumbled over into ecstatic oblivion Alexa invoked the talisman he had given her, "Methos." Her last coherent thought as she fell into loving darkness was the grateful knowledge that Adam fell with her.

_Who wants to live forever_  
Who wants to live forever  
Forever is our today  
Who waits forever anyway 

Eventually Alexa felt her heartbeat begin to slow its frantic pace and her gasping breaths eased. Exhausted she let her hands rove aimlessly over the sweat-soaked skin beneath their touch until Adam stirred. When he finally raised his head, he looked as exhausted as she felt, drained emotionally as well as physically. Nevertheless, she half-expected him to bully her off the floor and to a proper bed, taking care of her as always. But he didn't say a word, just gave her a tired, but genuine smile and pulled the afghan off the couch to cover them. Then he curled up against her, resting his head on her shoulder as he slipped his arm around her waist. Adam seemed somehow smaller now, almost childlike in that simple comfort-seeking gesture. Alexa obeyed her instincts and pulled him that fraction closer to her, stroking his back soothingly and offering her love and reassurance. She could feel sleep calling and she could hear Adam's breathing slow as he too succumbed to exhaustion.

"Methos," she murmured in wonder and gratitude and as she dropped off to sleep at last she felt familiar lips place a grateful kiss against her throat.

*****

It was the grey light of a misty morning that woke Alexa the next day. The stiffness in her limbs confirming her long-held opinion that she had never been meant to sleep on floors. Still, she was willing to ignore that little tidbit on the basis of the warm, sleep-heavy body snuggled against her, long legs tangled with her own. She shifted experimentally and realised that she had no hope of getting up without waking Adam, and really he looked so sweet cuddled up like that she hadn't the heart.

She moved to get a little more comfortable and belatedly realised that the song was still playing. Alexa squeezed her eyes shut against it while her free hand groped on the couch for the remote. One click and the stereo went silent, but the song seemed to linger and echo in the room and her imagination. She didn't want Adam to hear it, there wasn't much she could spare him from in the long run, but what she could she would.

In the quiet and with a lack of other options, Alexa took the time to study Adam's face; usually he was up before her and she didn't often get the chance for a little uninterrupted appreciation.

The short spikes of Adam's hair stuck up in all directions, mussed by the evening's activities and sleep. She couldn't see much of his face since it was tucked close against her neck, but if she strained she could just see the dark fall of his lashes against the pale skin of his cheek. The rest of him was still mostly covered by the afghan, except for the arm he had draped across her. A length of forearm and a slender hand were exposed to the morning air, the long fingers curling up lightly in sleep. It looked almost like a huge, dead, albino spider. Alexa tried not to giggle at the unflattering comparison to what in reality were truly beautiful hands, but it got away from her.

Adam stirred and she watched the hand withdraw back under the afghan to sleepily stroke across her belly. After a moment Adam woke a little more and raised his head to look at her; Alexa smiled at the picture of sleepy disarray he presented as he blinked owlishly in the light. He twisted to look back over his shoulder at the grey sky outside, then he groaned and buried his head under the cover. Alexa laughed at Adam's distinct lack of enthusiasm for morning and tried to tug the cover free of his deathgrip.

The afghan came up in a sudden flurry as Adam abruptly let go, but he came with it, trapping Alexa beneath him and leering menacingly. She remained undaunted and his face fell. Alexa just couldn't stop the laughter at Adam's apparent dismay and he smiled affectionately at her reaction.

Alexa looked up into Adam's dark eyes and wondered at their sudden seriousness; the laughter dried up abruptly. Questions about the night before floated to the surface in her brain and in her mind's eye Alexa saw again the stranger that had replaced her Adam. But it was Adam in front of her now, with apprehension and determination plain on his face.

The decision was one of the easiest and at the same time one of the most difficult she had ever made. She reached a hand up to stroke his face and smiled when he closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. When he opened them again she dropped her hand to trace her fingers over his lips. "I won't ask," she promised softly; she didn't need to say what or why, she could see in his eyes that he knew what she meant. Neither of them would mention that night again.

A flash of relief and a quick kiss to her fingertips told Alexa she had made the right decision. Then Adam bent forward and Alexa had all the time in the world to feel the distance between their lips burn away and then Adam's mouth was closing over hers as her arms wrapped tightly around his neck. Alexa knew she would remember this kiss for the rest of her life, however long or short that time proved to be. Gratitude flavoured with undertones of desire became desire with undertones of gratitude became unadulterated lust as Alexa indulged them both and decided that she could tolerate the hard floor for just a _bit_ longer.

 

FIN


End file.
